Three questions to ask when checking out a church


The journey to find a congregation where you (and your family) can connect with God and call home can be a challenging one. Growing up, I loved my church. I didn’t even know it was possible to have a “bad experience” at one until I went to college. Having said that, I also feel that folks sometimes set their expectations too high and bring a critical mindset that does not give a great community an honest shot.

 

Over the years, the church I pastor has been on the “receiving” and the “losing” end of great people. Though I don’t like phrasing it that way because people belong to God (not to any church), the reality is that folks come in and out. Sometimes good people move into the area/out of the area. Other times folks find a new spiritual home elsewhere. It’s a fact of life. While (of course) I would love if everyone stayed at the church I pastor, it is not realistic. Moreover, God’s Kingdom is way bigger than any one church. When folks have come by our speck in the Kingdom to see whether it’s where they should be, I often give them the following three questions to ask.

 

1. What is their theology?

 

Think of the “big items” here that pertain to salvation (find examples of salvation Bible verses here for reference). In particular, what do they teach about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and the Bible? If they don’t get that right, I’d probably not return. I have also seen folks feel they cannot align with a church because “minor” practices are different. If a place gets the Gospel right and teaches God’s word, it can be a good home.

 

2. How far away is it?

 

One of the biggest bummers of Southern California (especially Orange County/LA) is traffic. I can almost feel myself getting stressed out saying it. Think about how much of our lives we spend in the car. Okay stop that idea it’s actually terrifying. The point I’m trying to make is that distance + gridlock can be often be deterrents from the good things we need like a small group Bible study (that often happens in the evenings). Let’s be honest, if you’ve already been in the car an hour that day… the little devil on the shoulder can talk you out of it real fast. I think a church should be (ideally) within 20-30 minutes drive. I will also say that we have some amazing people at City Church who deal with the drive because of the genuine relationships they have here. It isn’t wrong to drive more than that by any stretch. I’m just saying: if you’re starting the search, I’d start looking closer before I looked further.

 

3. Does it feel like “home”?

 

The first two questions are based in logic and facts. This one is somewhat emotional and intangible (to an extent). It gets at the core of who we are. If a community doesn’t “feel” perfect inside but gets question #1 and question #2 right, I’d encourage you to do everything you can to make #3 work. Sadly, some will even put up with bad theology due to familiarity. If you’re unsettled about this one still, keep in mind that relationships take time to form. Keep in mind that there is no perfect church. However, God sometimes gives us a supernatural sense that we are where we are supposed to be. However, I would encourage you not to place a sense of emotional fulfillment like this on such a high pedestal that, if not present, you might miss out on a great church. Having said all this, I hope you do find all three. If you do, it’s a true miracle.

 

Here’s the #1 thing I tell everyone checking out City Church for the first time: I care more about you and your relationship with God than the fact that you attend my church. My job is to be one of Jesus’ faithful under-shepherds. As my mentor often says “We’re all one big set of Sunday school class electives.” If a person finds belonging and spiritual growth here at City Church, praise God. Of course that is my prayer. However, I would rather a person go elsewhere if there’s a better fit. As a pastor, this feels somewhat “dangerous” to post on our blog (because one might think people might be inclined to attend other churches). However, every pastor is aware that it is a reality whether or not it is addressed. Deep down, I think this is what most pastors want for people. We just want to see you connected in a community where you’re going to grow in your walk with God. We pray that can happen within our context; but team Jesus celebrates either way.

 

Welcome to the family of God. You’re going to meet some amazing brothers and sisters in Christ. When you get to Heaven you’ll meet billions more.

 

May God lead you to the community of faith where YOU need to be!

 

In Christ,

 

Pastor Kyle

1 Comment

  1. Jocelyn Sicat on July 10, 2018 at 9:35 pm

    Thank you Pastor Kyle!

    You’re right! The 3 questions are important in seeking a new church and we’re so happy to found that in your church. Q#3 would not be difficult to achieve as we feel that compassion is all around your congregation.

    We thank the Lord as we know that He answered our prayer and led us to City Church! We had opportunity to talk to Pastor Obie and Joyce and we appreciate their warm welcome to our family. Also we’re glad that they are handling the youth as we really prayed for a church that has youth program, we have a high schooler daughter and our priority is for her spiritual growth.

    We also are excited for what the Lord will assign to us as we are a family who love to serve the Lord.

    We hope to meet you when you come back from vacation.

    God bless!
    Noel & Josie

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