The past Mother’s Day, May 9, 2010, City Church met for a message called “What Controls You.”In this message, Pastor Kyle asked us to define what controls each of us. Fear? Optimism? Faith? Anger? Kyle told his congregation that there are time when these different emotions, specifically fear, fuels a person’s ability to change. But the problem for many is relinquishing control. Kyle suggests that when we let go of the control over our lives and start living for God instead of ourselves, we are better off and following a better path.

With this message, given on the day that is meant to honor our mothers, I began to think about something my mother has told me several times in my life. She said, “don't hold on to what’s bothering you, give it up to God.”Give it up to God—those five words can be powerful and troubling at the same time. I find myself struggling, on a daily basis, with this concept. Still, this idea has been more prevalent in my life over the past couple of years than ever.

Kyle says that we need to starve the gorilla/our flesh and feed the spirit of God in our lives. I think the “gorilla” can stand for different things to each person. For some the gorilla is fear, doubt, hurt, for others it’s different obstacles and trials. I’m starving the gorilla of doubt that weighs me down when I am uncertain about how much control I want to give to God. This is a work in progress though, as I’m sure it is for many others.

At the end of the message Kyle reminded us that Jesus paid it all. I think in repayment, as our Pastor implies, it is our turn to give our all right back to Him.